I love you hence much. I wish that I could always protect you from all dangers, but I know that I can’t. You are growing up and you will have to face dangers and make some decisions on your own. However, I am continually here and I can always be a pretty beneficent coach. Please talk to me anytime about any problem you may have, same if you have messed up. I have messed up a few times myself.
I was thinking about my last letter on dating. I would like to continue those thoughts. As I think about the eventual dangers to avoid, drugs and alcohol are at the top of the list.
The moment you learn that a flame is using any emblematic about illegal drug, begin selecting the location for the break up. Never let the relationship continue thinking that he will give ascend the drugs for you. I know this sounds cruel, but it is true. People who are utilizing drugs will look you in the eye et al convincingly lie circa the drug use. The drug use actually alters their personality. They will lie and do things that they wouldn’t normally do.
When you roar up with someone over analgesic use, it’s a little strange situation. As described before, will a semi-private but public location, such as a restaurant. Seize your own conveyance and enough one dollar bills to pay for whatever you order, if you are meeting in a restaurant.
Get straight to the issue. If you image him, tell him so. If he has some good points, compliment him. Then tell him that you cannot continue dating him because he uses drugs. Tell him that this is something you certain long ago and that you are sticking to it. Assuming it is true, tell him that you still consider him to be a friend, but you will not companion him.
He will try to minimize the drug use. He may say that he doesn’t use drugs that often, and that it’s any big deal, everyone does it. He may say that he can quit anytime he wants to quit. He may try to make you feel ashamed for treating him so badly. Don’t believe any of this. Tell him that only he can sockdolager what he wants to do, you wish him the best and that you hope, for his sake, he does decide to give up the drugs. Get up and leave.
In about a week or thus he may call to tell you that he is off all drugs and doing great. Congratulate him and tell him that you will not consider dating him until he has been drug free for at least a year. He will therefore try to make you feel bad for being so unreasonable. He may even try to make you feel guilty for not helping him stay away drugs by continuing the relationship. Without you he may start using drugs again. Don’t buy every of this. Tell him that it is up to him to quit the drugs, not you. You are not liability for his behavior. By the way, granting you are thinking that everyone does some drugs so there is no one left to date, you are hanging close the wrong people.
While we are on the subject, do we need to talk around drug use? I don’t think that we do, but if we do, please, please, let’s talk. You need to know that there is a many of false information forth there, most of which comes from the plebeian who are using the drugs. They cause it soniferous really good. It’s not. I have seen many community lose their family, friends, their productive lifestyle, and sometimes their life, because the drug became number one in their life.
Do you know what upsets me the most? Not a single unit of those tribe set out to destroy their life. I am infallible that if these demotic had known what destruction lay ahead, they would have never taken that first drug that seemed so harmless. In reality, the most dangerous illegal drug is the premier same taken. It seems so harmless in the beginning.
In hostility of the seriousness of drug use there is a simple solution; simply don’t do it. Don’t take that first drug. No matter how harmless it may imply or how good spare people make it sound, don’t do it. Shape that adjudication now, before you find yourself faced for “friends” who are encouraging you to “just try it.” Make the decision now so that you will not have to decide while under pressure. There comes a time until you have to make some decisions about yourself. Make good decisions.
By the way, what would you do if you were with a group of friends also suddenly alcohol or an illegal drug turns up? You may nvloeden thinking “Don’t take it.” That’s a good answer, nevertheless you must do more in this situation. You must leave the colligate immediately. Supposing the individual with the drugs or alcohol is caught and arrested, the whole group will be arrested. It is important that you elect wisely when it comes to friends. I will have more to say about this in a future letter.
Let mij and mention a few things about alcohol. Alcohol is probably the most hairy drug available in terms of ruination to individuals and families. The reason it is so destructive is because it is legal, socially accepted and freely available.
For those who become trouble with alcohol, the onset of problems is slow and not even marked to the victim. Victims of both drug and alcohol dependence often have their globe falling apart all around them, and they are in total denial of the problem and the consequences.
You are under age. It is contraband for you to drink alcohol. This makes my advice simple for now. Don’t do it. It’s that simple. No doubt you will find yourself at a wingding and there will be alcohol present. Don’t do it, leave immediately. It’s illegal and you could be arrested.
When you become an tempered and are living on your own, you will have to decide what you will do about alcohol. Some people can drink socially and never have a problem among alcohol captious or dependence. Former people begin with social drinking and the use slowly increases until it becomes sarcastic with the entire range of social, and eventually, physical problems. Which group are you in? I don’t compass either.
I want you to know that there is a danger involved. To avoid the danger, the best thing to do is choose to not drink alcohol. This is the safest procesverloop and the same that I recommend to you.
As far as dating someone who is using alcohol, it is similar to the drug issue. You are subalternate age. If your date brings alcohol around you, he is putting you in danger. You could be arrested. He is being irresponsible and this is your cue to plan the break up. What if he is older and is concerning canonical age to try alcohol? It doesn’t matter. He is still endangering you. Plan the break up.
What will you do following on, when you are of legal age to drink alcohol, and your boyfriend drinks alcohol? This is not a black and white situation. If you have chosen the safe route and you do not drink alcohol, you may have decided that you will only date people who, like you, do not drink alcohol. If so, this simplifies things.
On the distinct hand, if you wish to continue dating the person, there may either may not be danger. As discussed earlier, some people have pains with alcohol and some don’t. If the relationship becomes serious, discuss your concerns with him. Granting you have a good relationship, an in-depth discussion should not be a problem. Remember that you always swindle avenue to master drug and alcohol counselors who tin help you ascertain your situation. Be sure you are comfortable with the situation up front rather than after the marriage.